The school year preparation can be much like digging through a time capsule - sifting through the goals of past years and attempting to establish goals from lessons learned. Be more organized, no more procrastinating, forget regrets.

This year, just do what you say you will.

I spent my sophomore year of college worrying. Worrying about things I should have done, setting me up for more worries of things left undone. The poor year drenched in worries over lessons I wish I didn't have to learn the hard way, but learned anyway.

After searching for balance and purpose through philosophy and the countless late-night conversations lost in time, one of the biggest lessons I've learned is the danger of other people's advice. Famous columnist Mary Schmich describes advice as "a form of nostalgia." She says, "Dispensing it, a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it is worth." Ever notice how much easier it is to give advice to a friend than it is to give advice to yourself in times of need? In that moment of uncertainty, we adopt the sometimes makeshift and untailored advice of others as our own, ignoring our own personal misgivings.

The truth is, we know more than we think we know. Our wisdom lies in the thousands of years of human experiences passed down through the generations. It is in the faint but audible echoes of our parents' warnings, some of which we are just now starting to understand, as well as in the inspirational words in good books and the between-the-lines lessons of really good books.

Our wisdom also comes from our own internal dialogue and past experiences, knowing that we are capable of doing better. Wisdom is admitting "you should have known better, and you do. Don't let it happen again." It takes both confidence and humility to face mistakes, dispense forgiveness (to yourself), and move forward.

Acting blindly on the advice of others is like searching for yourself by putting on someone else's glasses, blurring your own truths in the incomplete attempts of others to find theirs. Every time I've tried to find myself using the advice of someone else, I've remained more disoriented than where I've started.

Those who refuse to look within themselves for serenity and peace may find that they spend their whole lives looking for happiness and never really find it. They look to outside things not realizing that what they seek is already within them. Some try money and instead end up lonely; some try taking drugs and end up damaging their bodies; some try changing their appearance, not realizing they are only cracking the surface.

No. The most memorable people in history were not the ones looking for treasures lost using maps given them by others, they were those creating them. If we really want happiness (don't take my full word for it; try it yourself), we must stay true to ourselves and plug into the ambition, drive, and happiness within.

Fidelity to oneself is the key. No one but yourself can truly align your actions with your values and understand how lessons learned in the past translate into present practice. It's your life, not your friends' or your parents' or anyone else's. These people can be positive influences and act as important mentors and confidantes. But before you can truly claim to be an adult and enjoy the rewards and take on the responsibilities of a full human being, you must finally choose to trust yourself.

Nidia Fevry is a Heights staff columnist. She welcomes comments at fevry@bcheights.com.

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