At this point, shouldn't things be turned over to the professionals?
Well, if you're willing to pop some brown-bagged antibiotics for every sneeze, you really need to reexamine your student qualifications. And survival skills. And, well, it wouldn't hurt if you were kept under constant adult supervision for the rest of your life.
Which is why I'm not one of the infirmary's biggest fans.
My most recent visit involved dragging myself up the million dollar stairs for my inconveniently scheduled appointment at 9:15 a.m. For those of you who have yet to stop by, the infirmary is conveniently located in Cushing Hall along with the political science class that I failed to attend since it conflicted with my visit. After barely deciphering the ever important billing form from the spots in my eyes, I was able to settle down in the waiting room.
One of the few things I actually do enjoy about the infirmary is the waiting room. Sure, it's a hotbed of disease, where pestilential epidemics like mono, strep throat, or High School Musical breed and spread. But it's also probably the only place on campus where a sick person is not treated like a total pariah. I can go in, proudly pull out my family-size box of tissues, and sneeze without fear of driving the person sitting next to me three chairs away. That miserable camaraderie is one of the few things that keeps me going after my immune system gives out.
So, after gagging on a popsicle stick, having had my lymph nodes assaulted, and feeling self-conscious about my apparently shallow breathing habits, I was released with my goody bag of assorted medications in convenient little paper envelopes.
Eventually, the meds cleared up whatever had been plaguing my body enough for me to carry on with my regular class schedule and spread my germs to all the other unsuspecting undergrads. I'm not worried for you all, however. Should you start hacking up a lung or spontaneously begin losing appendages, you can rest assured that every piece of your body, in accordance with precedent and modern medical standards, will receive a full blood test.
Spring Break
